This morning I am drinking half a cup of coffee in bed and chewing with both sides of my mouth. I feel like I am so close, so close. I took yesterday literally and I really was just grateful from the ground on up for all of the little parts of life that add up to make my own. Body parts. Kindness. Optimism. Colors and sounds. Running up a hill into the wind. I hope I loved you all yesterday as much as I should have. I was trying.
I am not sure what chased them away or for how long they'll stay banished, but right now I am living without my worries. I am putting aside all that long list of we-won't-have-enough, I-won't-be-enough, I-can't-make-up-my-mind. Today I am going to spend on bringing myself up to the present, and using ice cream gift certificates, and hunting up some Christmas bargains. And I'm going to meet my fiance and his family at the Harry Potter movie, and I will probably spend the rest of the day after that laughing and holding on tight.
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