long morning

I had to cut a chunk of pine-pitched hair off, because the branch that fell on me during a windy afternoon. Someone is eating grilled cheese at 8:00am and the stacks elevator smells like jelly beans or maybe cigar smoke, and I'm kind of feeling like I'm running on low-power. We are about to move into a time of change.

punching bag again

I’m relieved that I’ve acquired a fake work nemesis again. Since my last one left in May there’s been a bottling up of artificial outrage and practical jokes under my skin. It helps it really helps.

things that have happened

An unexpected five day weekend due to a combo of heavy snow and a Friday off for spring break, a recovery from the bad days and a return to gloopy-headed normalcy, a doctor's appointment, a missed opportunity, an existential crisis, a feeling of blorpiness, an afternoon of games and cupcakes, an agreement for what-happens-next (that's a whole big thing, and I'll get into it later), bacon and eggs, a good day, a sick husband, and melting tenderness.

good at something

The best part about a sick husband is leftover chicken noodle soup for lunch the next day. I'm kind of really good at making comfort food soup.

snowed

I'm snowed in today with a foot of the thick wet, horizontal, 34° stuff. It has had quite impeccable timing, because it's spring break, and therefore dull and quiet at work, and because yesterday was a very, very, very bad day in the body of April and though I'm not doing much better today, I am relieved to be typing this from in bed rather than at my desk. I'm operating under the assumption that my suffering has a limit and that I'm earning decades of good karma through these past 16 months of firey malaise. Just wait til I'm better, guys. I'll be huge. Also, because yesterday was really remarkably miserable, even for me, I'm toying with the fantasy that I'm boomeranging, and am about to come back out on the other side, the war in my immune system having finally come to a head. Maybe I feel so sick because I'm actually fighting this time. Maybe I'm reverse tracking the descent that happened an autumn ago. That would be more fair than being kicked when I'm down, because I'm over the whole martyr thing.

This snow is sticking to everything, and making me nervous about S having to drive into work for the evening shift, but it's also muffling, and distracting, and turning all the trees into cotton bushes, and so far it hasn't weighed down our power lines to the breaking point, and so far S is still at home and nuzzling me and bringing me muffins in bed. I don't have to pretend!