#27

I want this month to be over because, although I do have things to be thankful for, they are all the same: S, who is taking care of me, mom, who is taking care of me, family, friends, coworkers who are taking care of me. I can't even say with any legitimacy that I'm thankful for the warm weekend we've had and the crunchy leaves. BECAUSE I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO EXPERIENCE THEM. I am still not back to normal. Don't know what the hell kind of virus I've got/had, but I do NOT recommend it. I am a whiny, shaky, teary mess who bears far too little a resemblance to the happy, confident, hungry April I should be. I want to feel like myself again. None of this weakness, no appetite, pervading sense of ickiness. It is shit. It needs to be done. This has even gone so far as to require me to wear a 24-hour heart monitor later this week. It's that much of a deal. So for day #27 the only new thing in my repertoire to be grateful for is applesauce. There. Applesauce.