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I am not proud of myself today and it's probably going to get worse before the end. I fell into bed so suddenly last night that I forgot to set my alarm and did not take the hint when I woke late and disoriented. I should have driven to work, but instead I rushed around so I could walk, and I hated every step and the crusty ice forming on the edge of my scarf from the condensation of my breath. I felt feeble. And all day I have been snapping at the air and biting too close to the quick. An hour ago I went up to the vending machine to get myself some peanut butter M&Ms and I accidentally punched in the button for skittles and I HATE skittles. I am grumbling about having to walk home, grumbling about being out of groceries, being misunderstood, the flaws all over and inside of me, the color of my socks, the fuzziness of my brain, the timing of it all. Oh, April, how are you? I am... completely letting this day go to waste.