love

Oh, this makes me so happy. I could post the eventual conclusion, which, you know, by take four or five, sounded whole. But I am so much more into this outtake than the end product. Because! Well, it should be obvious, but I love my family so damn much.

I had a two hour lunch today with the brother of mine who always answers my questions and matches my rhythms without prompting. We have a club, the Miller Siblings Who Are Currently Dating Someone Awesome Club, and he and I sat and ate warm pretzels dipped in spicy mustard and counted pennies and talked about his heart and mine and where they're going.

I forget sometimes just how amazing it is that I have such warmth and laughter in my life, so much of it way beyond even the realm of my understanding. I mean, it is almost Valentine's Day, and even though the date itself is arbitrary, lord, I have so much to love and am so loved. It was something I'd asked for--sometimes explicitly, but mostly just in sub-thought and sub-hope--the close family and beautiful friends, and definitely, definitely the lover I’ve found--a man delightful and extradimensional and frank, who comes in from the cold to kiss me goodnight and carries me away. When he first told me he loves me my reaction was ‘… you’re crazy.’ But he is telling the truth, and moreover, when I look into his eyes and say the same, so am I. We spent last night in front of a fireplace full of lit candles, and I know how lucky I am, how blessed to have someone like this to read my thoughts and echo them with his own. Ah, ah bless.