stress

I didn't even really close my eyes until 3:00am because there is so much static in my head about the next two weeks. We have done 5% of what needs to be done to empty out and refill a tiny basement apartment. Our power is getting shut off and the landlord needs his keys back on the 31st and I honestly don't know how we'll have the time and resources to actually be intact when we get to that point. S works all the time, and I'm kind of flickering and not particularly hearty enough to bear the brunt of the move myself. And we're going to be out of town this weekend for a good reason, a good wedding, but it is yet another chunk of time that's going to go by without us having a safe home. So I was wide awake and buzzing for hours and hours last night. I'm going to have to keep my knees jackhammering up and down all day today to stay awake and am going to have to give myself allowances for more sleepless nights and there's going to be a level of stress/busyness/mourning over the next 15 days that will be at a code red, but will hopefully stay within itself so I can go about readjusting to a new smaller reality with grace when June finally gets here. I forget why we're doing this.