a shrill buzz

My mind looks like this: DON'T BE AFRAID hibernate later letter people what do I have that's worth $10 killer ringtone will I have time before the now STOP WORRYING let's be reasonable here I'm so behind on holiday cheer I always get this timing wrong want to have the wrapping over with real ribbons I have to leave the office but I refuse to put on my glasses wish I could be in that audience again tonight I'm embarrassed to show my need the problem is fear, I'll tell you right now--it's fear and that's all-- 110 pages and the wrong resolution what the eff, self, are you thinking it would kill you to make sense hold me, you feel good MAYBE I'LL FAKE BLINDNESS I still have the stocking on top of my wardrobe I never have anything to say when does that stop being ok I'm not sure how to face another storm penit! penit! how much longer can I avoid cleaning up the mess I'm leaving I always wish I could also be somewhere else but there's nowhere else CHIN UP I get why this is a choice but I'm too timid to speak my decision craving green sheets I only have half what I had a year ago I should become as heartless as you think I am for self defense this is all way too blue and very very average I just lied about my bike MORE LINT I wish it were already next year because I'M LOSING and would rather have already lost apple pies feigning interest I still feel you on my stomach THANK GOD YOU CANNOT READ MY MIND I'm jealous--wait, plane tickets?--I'm feeling empty would like to be smothered or whispered to thumbnail thumbnail what if I miss out on the family and tomorrow am a disappointment I HAVE BEEN FEELING SO BORING.