getting better all the time

I need to learn to step on the toes that need stepping on before a month passes and it takes a crisis to realign. Thank god for crises.

I need to stand in the shower and laugh and cry because the water takes away both and I'm so glad. It is so good.

I need to breathe deep into my lungs and relive that feeling I had last night--whole. And close. And warm. And desperate.

I need to have more of the evenings of burgers and beer and ice cream and walking, sort of, in the right direction until it gets shrill and hilarious and my heart is already full before I let it get even fuller after the doorbell rings.

I need to keep saying yes when it comes to trial runs and taco salad and jojoba oil and beaded earrings. Because how lucky am I?? How lucky. How blessed.

I need... to brush my teeth and brush my hair and laugh along with the rest of the table when it comes up that the muscles in my back are almost completely devoid of tension. I know why that is.