I'm typing this from my bed, because it's been another one of those days. I really, really wish I had something obviously wrong with me that I could point to and say, 'see, doctor, I'm bleeding from my eyeballs, fix it!' It is incredibly frustrating to have my symptoms be not-pain. My symptoms are a sour stomach and weakness and fatigue and anxiety and the feeling like I've been drugged, like I'm drunk, like my skin is crawling and my head is a hot air balloon. Because this has gone on for so long, I'm starting to worry that people aren't going to believe me when I say I'm just not well yet, because damnit, I don't always believe me, either. Some of the time I convince myself that perhaps I'm just insane. Or on my way. Thank god for S, who continually tells me I'm not crazy. Thank god for a soft bed and my ability to hope that I'll feel stronger in the morning. And kleenex. Dear lord, kleenex. I feel as if I have the best-flushed tear ducts in the whole county.
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