slugging

I think I'm just going to have to embrace the slug. Apparently my body still needs time to rest, and fighting the resting is not helpful. I HAVE been resting and staying low-key, but I've been resenting myself the whole while, feeling guilty for being selfish and letting things slide around the apartment, with friends, and at work, and I've been feeling pitifully sorry for myself and especially for S, who is missing a healthy wife. I think I just need to stop doing the resentful rest thing and just switch over to rest rest. I CLEARLY need more sleep, less tension, less self-blame, FEWER TEARS. So I should probably just embrace the slug. Sorry, rest of the world. If you're going to be loud and big and jumping around, I'm going to stay behind for the time being. I'm going to have a mellow Christmas. I'm going to try to love the mellow.