I am calmed. It took me a little while to get there, because I was starting from INSANE-- a sticky confluence of real and imagined faults and physical judgments. My breakdown was a masterpiece of nonsense, brought on by something as simple as a fleeting fear that someone I love isn't proud of me or the new things I'm learning to try (nonsense!) and the downslide carried along nicely through the (oh so obvious) transition to a mess of body-image flagellation and good old self doubt. Ah, I do it well.
Thank GOD for silly voices and patience and warm, gentle kisses. And for a night of sleep. It all helps.
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