love smackdown

I had another moment late last night when nestled against S, I again let the stress and bother of being and being enough crest over my head. My whole body was tensed and my brow was furrowed--oh, so THIS is stress!--and then I opened my eyes, blearily at first--they'd been closed for so long--and staring into them was a pair of firey brown ones. His eyes were imploring me to calm down, breathe deep, try more of the trusting and less of the doubting. And I did feel that. I felt the stunning gravity of his eyes meeting mine. Not only just meeting my sorry gaze, but watching me all the while beforehand, loving the flushed, torn, sorrowful me. I would have expected pity, but what was there was love and assurance and faith--in me, and in us. I am still stuck in that look and the way in the shock of that moment my mind and my body let go of the shrill worrying and I came unknotted. Ah, you will take care of me. Ah, I will take care of you. I believe it.