malignancy

Why don't I have any ice cream in the house? This would be the perfect evening for ice cream. If I had some I'd probably overdo it, just like I've just smudged nail polish along the sides of my toenails. Because I don't have any restraint today and I don't have a steady hand. Because, oh, this is such a cliche, but it is NOT FAIR, and WHY couldn't it have been ME instead who got the diagnosis of cancer on a beautiful spring morning? It is such an affront, this disease. I am so terribly pissed off that it had to be my mother who caught its bullet in her breast. I barely knew my mom's mother because she died when I was young of this same disease, and this fact offends me even further. I am thinking about time bombs and radiation and the fact that I do not know how to hem my own pants. So this canNOT be the end. It just can't.