I have finished a summer concert series as a tiny but enthusiastic front row blip in my community band's 160 year history. My fourth season, and the first after a two year ick + lack of compromise hiatus. I have my musical strength and control back and 75% of my ego. I don't know if the remaining 25% is even available inside me anymore, and I think that's probably ok. I have a sweet, serious high schooler section mate to take up all the extra emphasis I used to just direct at myself. My number one goal in life is to be useful, and in my three-quarters performer one-quarter coach, I truly believe I serve a purpose worth keeping on coming back for. I actually think this is good.
I think maybe I think about this too much?
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