reflection

I'm still kind of distracted by continuity and identity and the illogics of my heart. I think nobody TOLD me I'd never be April again. Maybe they did and I forged on anyway?

This week I'm alone in the office at work sipping mint and playing Lucius on repeat.

This week I'm victorious and paying attention to detail and punishing myself at every turn.

Honestly, I'm fine--was fine--will continue to be fine--. What I lack currently is a. unclaimed time, and b. willpower. There's always a chance willpower will spontaneously burst from the soles of my feet sometime in 2017.

I'm very lucky. I suspect I'll get to the next decade of my life with only a few more callouses and bruises from lashes of Weltschmerz. There are things I'm good at, like catching a wiggly, dripping toddler fresh from the bath when he leaps into my arms.