These days when it's late at night and S is out working the late shift, or at a gig, or with his buddies pretending he's an elf, I try to figure out what I would do if he never came home. About my last name, I mean. I am, I'd say, 45% done changing it from mine to his. What would happen if I were made a widow after three weeks of marriage, with my name change only partially official? The horror of having to continue on with the process without the a man to match. The horror of having to backtrack, erase him. I think about this and before I get to a solution, he's home and I'm asleep.
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