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The next two or three years I simmered. S was always a magnet, and throughout his musical career at the university I couldn't help going to his concerts and recitals. I was adoring and he was grateful. Sometimes when he played jazz in a coffee shop I'd hang around afterward, and he'd come over to me and we'd sit on a couch and talk. I'd ask him questions about what the music felt like to him and if he'd ever thought about writing his own, and he'd answer and take me seriously and once he put his arm up on the edge of the couch above my shoulders.