I can do this.

I am not apologizing for staying up three hours too late. It was reasonable, because my evening made sense. I began it all writing stories and hearing poems around a long, noisy table, and then I sat in a dark car in the rain before I warmed up a little in a bright, ariose bar and then overheated in someone's arms a bit later. It's fair that this took hours and it's fair that this is something I wouldn't want to cut short.
There's really no weighing the justice of what is coming next. I can't say whether or not it's fair to be leaving from work today to drive the last time to the old home and to be there as it is ripped and wiped clean. And to be one ripping and cleaning.
My reaction to the idea of this is varied. On my chart I have spikes of selfish and I have spikes of selfless and at least once I've shut off the first though I didn't want to... I really, really didn't. But, I AM AN ADULT. ADULTS ARE CALM AND PATIENT AND ADULTS DO REASONABLE, RESPONSIBLE THINGS. And, more to that, I am collecting experiences, and even solo this is a good one to add to my list. CHECK.
I know EXACTLY how to make it the six hour drive with my sister tonight: the boxed cd set of 90s pop I snagged from the library and a midway stop for Taco Bell and I know EXACTLY how to get back home in one piece (without my sister, but with a cat, in a car that smells of gasoline and mail): one last iced coffee (cream, no sugar) from the Dunkin Donuts on the corner, really loud mood music (to block out the sound of the cat's semi-drugged panic) and anticipation for What Comes Next.