blue and gray

I am spending this weekend and the next in the Civil War. You'd think this would make me feel like a Yankee. Usually it just makes me very curious. There is a difference.

that's fine

It is Friday the 13th. The day is so damp out that after my walk across town the dollar bill from my jeans pocket was hanging too limp to slide into the vending machine. I just misread the phrase 'EXPLORING THE MODERN AUDIT FIRM: AN INTRODUCTION' and thought it was talking about porn. After seeing Thor last night I am fired up about Norse mythology. And I am completely overwhelmed by the fact that I am loved despite my smelly feet.

well employed

Today work is hilarious. A little less shirtless workmen and a lot more insulting emails from professors outraged at being referred to as 'customer' and bemused building managers and a fine layer of yellow dust coating all the books. And one het-up boss who is being very entertainingly un-zen. It is a day I'd happily agree to pack up the office of the professor emeritus against his wishes because he refuses to come in and empty his desk and because the ranting going on about all of this just makes me laugh. And it's even employee appreciation day, on top of all of it. Sometimes the best kind of appreciation is a circus.

stitched up

Today, because my mother is doing much better and will probably even get to go home today, I am allowing myself to get down and dirty with customizing my standard forms and managing my spreadsheets. /metaphor?

bursting

So, my mom's in the hospital, there are half-dressed men surrounding my office, and my uterus hurts. Today isn't going so well. I'd be quite distraught if it were not for all the late night love poems and the early morning yoga.

we're going to be fine

Going away this weekend to get all my family reunited (and I mean that there are nine of us these days!) I hope this will be a good weekend for emptying heads of stress and opening of ears. Listen, think, act. Other than that, I know what's coming, and this is such a relief to me.

I don't like finals week

I don't like finals week. There's not even a bit of schadenfreude in me anymore. It's just all pity and resentment. The library is overflowing and barely containing its panic. There was a girl crying in the stairwell earlier this week. She was bunched up in the corner on her phone and was sobbing things like, 'mom, I'm just NOT GOING TO GET IT DONE IN TIME!' It makes me wince. I just had to deliver the news of a huge lost item fine to a graduating senior who was frantic about having looked everywhere and the book is still missing, and she can't afford that fee! She's practically homeless already! I could never be a counselor. I cry too easily.

And of course, this is the day that I forgot to bring a bra.

redaction

SHIT. I was supposed to be not insulting myself this month. Referring to myself as apathetic and greedy is unacceptable [until June]. Forget I said anything. I'm lovely.

apathetic greed

It's interesting that by nature I'm rather ambivalent, because that doesn't seem to mesh very peacefully with my... umm... distaste for moderation.

[...]

everything will be ok
in the end

if it's not ok
it's not the end.