ha.

A guy walks into a bar with a lizard on his shoulder. "What do you call that?" asks the bartender. "Tiny," says the guy. "Because he's my newt."

THE RESEMBLANCE BETWEEN YOUR LIFE AND A DOG

I never intended to have this life, believe me --
It just happened. You know how the dogs turn up
At a farm, and they wag but can't explain.

It's good if you can accept your life -- you'll notice
Your face has become deranged trying to adjust
To it. Your face thought your life would look

Like your bedroom mirror when you were ten.
That was a clear river touched by mountain wind.
Even your parents can't believe how much you've changed.

Sparrows in winter, if you've ever held one, all feathers,
Burst out of your hand with a fiery glee.
You see them later in hedges. Teachers praise you,

But you can't quite get back to the winter sparrow.
Your life is a dog. He's been hungry for miles,
Doesn't particularly like you, but gives up, and comes in.

-Robert Bly

courier

I've never met anyone quite so conscientious about doorknob turning as you.

give and take

See, that's where we're different: if it was me who hadn't brought anything to the potluck, I'd eat anyway.

ow

If something kills me in the next week, it'll be going down stairs.

after a day of stretching

I was wearing a green shirt today, and you were wearing purple, and you were wearing yellow, and you were wearing red, and we were sentinels. We pinned the room down at the corners, our voices met in the middle. I was not impressed.

reentry

I drove the six hours from my parents' house to my house this afternoon and I kept my car within 5 miles of the speed limit
for the first time ever?
As for why, maybe because I was comfortable, or because I was distracted by thoughts of 2009 (I have high hopes).
For four hours I listened to the Bulgarian Women's Choir and then the rest of the way I listened to Coldplay's Viva la Vida on repeat. Because, well, I don't need a reason. I have no one to defend myself to.

I'm not that great of a juggler

So who else would I tell that I
dreamt last night that I was out
$480
when I decided to
pay for my family's dinner in Paris?
Or that I need another set of eyes to supplement
mine,
to receive my projections?
Because I do and
I did,
and damnit, my U key keeps sticking.

self control

When I am sober, I never hiccup more than once. It just takes a second of sitting still, of consciously suspending my breathing, and I can stop myself before the second hiccup hits. I didn't realize this ability was contingent on my sobriety. But it is. Because last night, damnit, I hiccuped once, and then again and again, and no amount of willpower or stillness could touch them. I was powerless, and laughing, and making bracelets out of glow sticks, and eating guacamole, and sipping champagne, and feeling so utterly grateful for the friends who surrounded me, and I was hiccuping.

old friend

I am grateful, for my own sake, that your arms are big and warm and male.